SARTORIAL NERDS ARE THE NEW HI-FI BORES
John- I’m only stancing - Elton does big bins, big cans, mastif check & cheeky sofa platforms.
Hi-Fi was a serious male obsession back in the Seventies and Eighties. Mass high fidelity sound equipment became available and home music never sounded so good. Yet for many devotees it wasn’t music driving their fixation. Men immersed themselves in Hi-Fi world, becoming experts, many placing greater significance on the equipment than actual music. Hi-Fi know-alls talked long and tediously about hardware, sacred makers and specs. Sound familiar?
Hi Fis coolest moment? Pete Murphy off of Bauhaus in Maxell’s Break The Sound Barrier ad campaign**.
A similar ‘expert nerd’ scenario is going down in sartorial world. Insider chat is all construction analysis, family histories and attention to measures. Its the currency of this scene, and blow me its dull. Earnest assessments of canvasing or Neapolitan sleeve pitch resonate with debates on Denon solid state amps, niche British speaker factories and whispers of hallowed marques like Marantz. Both these man-tribes play it so it painfully straight and dry. This isn’t what exciting style’s all about. I like a good plunge into hardcore tailoring culture myself, but the nerd analytics is turn off.
WOOF WOOF - BEARD TOUCHING CABLE
It’s understandable how us men are compelled to nerd-up on things though, compelled by an inherent impulse to cast ourselves as experts. This overtly male trait demonstrates knowledge and clout, mainly back to themselves. Cars, watches, Hi-Fi and now tailoring are all legit man-genres to get sucked into. Granted, it is rather tough feeling helpless so in a relentlessly uncontrollable world- so urges to quantify and conquer slices of it are double persuasive, right fellas? Wanna feel like a man-Boss? Get a pedigree man-hobby to Boss about in.
RARE AS HENS TOOTH CHECK- HOT HI-FI GROUPIES
I’m guilty. I was a media herald of the sartorial renaissance back at the turn of the millennium. A period when few hoots were given about tailoring. Back then ‘clued-up’ men fixated on deleted denim looms, Prada Sport and collecting trainers. (NB. collecting is another favourite male control compulsion). Naughties sartorial sea change flooded the style landscape with all matters tailoring and ‘correct’ dressing. Many waded in up to their cutaways. We (the style press) duly nurtured the cult until gradually tailoring correctness and knowledge became almost compulsory. One-upmanship even runs to Mill-banter
ARE YOU BEING NERD?
Film stars began trussing like over jealous junior Wall Street tailors for red carpets, and bang-normal bods donned three piece suits with all the trimmings as standard a Tuesday sandwich run flex. ‘Correctly tailored’ became the a look, and its still going strong. I concede I was right in the early days sighting McQueen’s full regalia Thomas Crown as icon, (though in fact weighing like John Inman as Mr.Humphries (left picture).
This media saturation moment was called out by a style prophet. “Pockets squares are the new tits” declared doyen Joanne Furness in AnotherMan/Arena <or somewhere>. Men’s mags festooned like habbadasharies with gear for this burgeoning trend became overpowering. But for hoards of chaps this trend/cult thing is more of a new man-hobby than a inner-calling, and boy they’ve immersed in it. Expensive and niche, it really is the new Hi Fi.
SEPARATES
ARE
THE
NEW
SEPARATES
At least they’re into style mind- a serious positive. I really should let the Sart Nerds alone. But they don’t half sedate tailoring vibes though . Genned up nerdster isn’t a very suave approach. Its not edgy. And its definitely not sexy. Its a look, so lets allow it. With their many rules and diktats dutifully obeyed groups of Sart-Nerds resemble a board of school Governors attending the tribunal of a wayward PE teacher. For me its achingly stiff and awfully straight. No-ones getting fucked in this farty equation (bar the metaphorical gym teacher).
ANDY WALKING,
ANDY TIRED
ANDY TAKE A LITTLE SNOOZE
TIE HIM UP WHEN HE'S FAST ASLEEP
SEND HIM ON A PLEASANT CRUISE
WHEN HE WAKE UP ON THE SEA
HE SURE TO THINK OF ME AND YOU
HE'LL THINK ABOUT PAINT AND HE'LL THINK ABOUT GLUE
WHAT A JOLLY BORING THING TO DO*** (CLICK)
Just like HiFi Guy, Sart-Nerd’s view lacks flair, passion and real world context. Where are the challenging breakthrough looks? New ideas, nuance and dangers? The prevailing correctness lacks humor and bravery (bar the quaintly hysterical Pitti Peacocks). By comparison style comrades ranging from savvie art school types, flash-Casuals to avant garde Aristos have taken risks, laid themselves vulnerable, even making political statements with their misappropriation of tailoring. They enrich sartorial fashion with artful reference and irreverence. Above all they often found the whole style thing amusing, too. Life and death stuff too, obviously, but obviously awfully silly and fun.
Meanwhile, Sart Nerd tailoring crew find rebellion by doing their ties up funny. With the back blade all long and sticking out. Woah, better call the cops. Then they all go and do the same move. This is the proscriptive nonchalance is known ‘Sprezzatura’, and illustrates the lack of imagination in effect. Even garment care seems more valued than the love of style or personal verve. Where’s the buzz ? Style is such a hoot and this is at odds with the joy of busting out ones own statements into the world.
More Murphy in Maxell- currently breaking the crash barrier (in and around Los Angeles, a bit high).
Am not worried bout cool tailorings future- am just bitchin’. Style&Fashion’s got plenty of new action going on. Its all gonna come round again. Culture’s gonna mis-claim bits back, re-mix it am certain ...look out for trendy young kids in loosened ties coming soon #loosenupitsathing. And thank the style gods we have got Charles Jefferies, Massimo Piombo, Wales Bonner, The Gigi and John Lawrence Sulivan all doing lively stuff in tailored fashion. Props to Dame VW too for bringing much need sex, chaos and attitude to the cutting room. The power of the cutter has previously changed the way we feel, dress and live, so it shall continue. Not to forget historocial bespoke suave merchants who never stopped such as Eduardo Sexton, or new kids on the Row Dobric&Lawton.
Quaint rules have a place to help some navigate mens style world, but just look what happened to big old stereo scene-Hi-fi went went wifi- and flat digital, man. Now audios about grewl thin wi fi signals strained into massive headphones to escape the world. Not sure how tailorings fate will compare, but fret not, as nerd-dullness cannot hamper tailoring culture for too long. Effectively another slow moving trend, things will move on. But we should note that while Hi-Fi in itself was important, it was never cool or racy, and it certainly never changed lives –not like music can.
Stubbs out.
Notes.
*Jo-Anne Furness, then off of Arena Homme Plus +
** Hi-Fi nerd one-upmanship breaks out even on the comments on pictures of Murphy in adds. One nerd names the system as Bang&Olufsen, another corrects the cassette is not. “Actually, it's a Nakamichi 1000ZXL, legendary cassette deck” Thanks lads.
*** David Bowie Andy Warhol on Hunky Dory 1972 <put link>